Slow Down

There are times when you are so used to doing everything in a hurry that you don’t notice how fast-paced your life has become. Simply reading the words, “Slow down,” will allow you to pause for a moment and notice. This step is mentioned first so you will carry the thought with you throughout this article and beyond.

• Avoid multi-tasking. It has become popular, if not clichéd, to multi-task. Research indicates that there is a point where the quality of what you are doing declines when you try to focus on too many tasks at once. Just because everyone is doing it doesn’t mean you have to.
• Find your threshold of diminishing return on the number of tasks you can work on. Your goal is to do things well so you can feel good about your accomplishments.
• Take frequent breaks while working.

Eliminate Extras

The concept of conspicuous consumption may describe your life. It entails lavish or wasteful spending that attempts to show others your level of social prestige. Simplifying your life will drastically cut into the amount of “extras” you have grown accustom to. The goal is to cut out the extra expenses so you won’t be tied down by financial obligations.

• Question if you really need that third ipad or newest electronic gadget, or twice-a-day trip through the coffee retailer drive-thru. Just say “no” to yourself, and “yes” to your desire to live a simpler and more peaceful life. Each time you are faced with a decision, you can make a good decision.
• Find fulfillment in the simple things in life by spending time with friends, in nature, or building something with your own two hands. Intrinsic rewards will improve your motivation and overall satisfaction with your life.

Practice Empathy and Compassion to Create Peace

The ability to appreciate someone else’s struggle is an important skill to develop. It comes easy to some people, and not to others. You know how you would like to be treated, so use that as a guide when trying to forgive someone.

• If you want to practice empathy and compassion start by reaching out to a family member or friend and offer to help her in some way. Perhaps you could run an errand for her, or do something simple like unload groceries, or water her plants. The point of this exercise is to provide to others the feelings and actions you appreciate when someone does the same for you.

Normally, though, we reserve the word failure for the bigger things. The times when we’ve let others down, and, more importantly, ourselves. Trying your hardest to do something important and failing is when it really stings and shakes your confidence. Maybe your startup business idea failed, you lost the big game, or you let someone you care about down. Sometimes failure can leave a mark—but it doesn’t have to.

Feel What You Need to Feel

Failure can take a hefty emotional toll, and that’s okay. What’s important is getting the negative feelings you have out of your system so you can regroup and tackle what’s next. Don’t keep how you feel trapped inside of you like a shaken up soda. Bottling your emotions can lead to two things:

• An emotional outburst: Eventually the pressure will build and it will be too much for you to contain. In a moment of weakness, everything you’ve kept inside could explode and set you back even further. This not only affects your mental state, but it can affect your relationships too. When you have an outburst, the people you care about often end up in the crossfire.
• Creeping negativity: If you only loosen the cap, the negativity will slowly and persistently enter your mind. You need to openly confront the mistakes you made and give yourself the chance to feel it all. Otherwise, anxiety will start to linger in the back of your mind and the soft hiss of failure will continue. Constant anxiety is incredibly unhealthy and can lead to even more problems.

So, how do you let it all out? There are a few ways to get the bad, and—most importantly—retain the knowledge you gained:

• Set aside some time: It’s okay to feel like you’ve hit rock bottom. Completely ignoring what happened isn’t helpful, so set aside a specific amount of time to wallow as much as you want. Take some time to be angry, upset, and frustrated so you can get it all out. If it’s something small, all you may need is an hour to pace around or cry in a pillow. For something larger, give yourself a full 24 hours to let it all out and wake up the next day with a clean slate. If you need more than a day, that’s okay, but make sure it’s an amount of time set by you and that you stick to it. You get that time to be as mopey as you want, but when it’s over, move on.
• Talk about it: Talk to somebody you know about how you’re feeling. It’s well known that just talking about something can make you feel better. Take a load off and express yourself. Chances are whoever you talk to will try to make you feel better, but even if they don’t, saying how you feel out loud puts that information out somewhere besides your brain.
• Don’t let it become a part of your identity: Failure is something that happens, not something you are. Susan Tardanico at Forbes explains that just because you haven’t found a successful way to do something doesn’t mean you are a failure. Be careful not to blur the lines between making mistakes and being someone who only makes mistakes. Our actions may define us, but our failures do not. The actions you take to move past failure and reach success will define you in the end.

Failure can leave an open wound and it’s unwise to ignore it. Without acknowledging it, your wound will continue to hurt, take longer to heal, and possibly get infected.

Change Your Definition of Failure

Have we mentioned that failure is good? It can be hard to think that way, but changing your definition of failure can help you cope. Failure is a learning and growing opportunity that is necessary for growth.

Robert Spadinger at Pick the Brain has a list of truths that can help adjust your own definition of failure:

1. Failure is an integral part on the way to success and self realization.
2. Whenever you step outside the comfort zone and whenever you try something new, failure becomes inevitable.
3. Each failure brings you one step closer to reaching your goals.
4. Failure is a great teacher and it allows you to learn some of the most valuable life lessons.
5. Each failure makes you stronger, bigger and better.
6. Making mistakes is not a big deal as long as you learn from them and avoid repeating them.
7. Failure teaches you that a certain approach may not be ideal for a specific situation and that there are better approaches.
8. Successful people will never laugh at you or judge you when you fail, because they have already been there and they know about the valuable lessons you can learn from failure.
9. No matter how often you fail, you are not a failure as long as you don’t give up.
10. Each time you fail, your fear of failure becomes smaller, which allows you to take on even bigger challenges.

Every mistake is a learning opportunity, and after you’ve moved past your emotions, it’s important to revisit your mistakes with a new perspective. Look at what you did that went wrong, but also look at what you did that was right, and what you can do better next time. Failure is rarely so black and white.

It is not only about applying the best practices, but also applying yourself more and in different ways. To increase your productivity, you need to ‘be more productive’ and this means:

Get Out of Your Way

How many excuses do you have and live by each day? ‘I couldn’t do this because…or I don’t have time to do this because…’ I am not saying that your excuses might not be valid, but I strongly believe that more than 80% of the time, they are not real; it is an avoidance technique that we subconsciously use.

Not dealing with procrastination is a clear example of standing in your own way. Nobody else is going to suddenly make it go away; it will be there the next time you attempt to do whatever it is that you are procrastinating. Put results before comfort, get out of your own way, and stop making excuses. Like Nike says, “just do it!”

Ask yourself honestly: ‘How are you standing in your own way in some areas?’

Develop a Productive Mindset

Productive individuals think very differently than others. You need to challenge your thoughts and develop a productive mindset. What is the main difference? A productive person doesn’t think along the lines of…

• ‘Oh no, I have got so much to do. What am I going to do?’
• ‘I am so stressed. I can’t think straight’
• ‘I am so overwhelmed. I wish this…or that…’

But instead…

• I need to do x and y. What is the best way for me to get everything done?
• What is causing the stress? What needs to change so that I manage this situation better?
• What can I do to improve this, considering the current circumstances?

The words and phrases you use immediately empower you or they don’t; they either make you feel better or more stressed. The words you use, ‘your self talk,’ is pivotal to everything in life, because you always act on them, whether they support you or not.

Adjust Stuff to Suit Your Specific Needs

Time management supports productivity; they go hand-in-hand. Most people often overlook the fact that time management is not a cookie cutter though, and what might suit you won’t necessarily work for your colleague or best friend.

You need to take the advice given from a meta view and then adjust it to your situation specifically. Think about clothes shopping: sometimes the suit doesn’t fit and you need to make adjustments and tweaks so that it fits your body perfectly.The same is true with time management and being more productive. You need to personalize what you read to your needs.

If some tips and techniques don’t work for you, instead of throwing in the towel, find a way to adjust them to suit your situation. Otherwise, it is like wanting to get healthier but resisting a change in lifestyle. You can’t avoid it, so if you don’t like it, adjust it to suit your specific needs and make it work for you.

Find Out Your Time Wasters

We all have time wasters, but most of us don’t even know what they are. If you can identify your biggest time wasters, the activities or situations that throw you off course, distract or interrupt you, or the bad habits that keep you from performing better, you will improve your results much more quickly.

If you try to study and apply different techniques, and you ignore your current time waster, the effort will remain fruitless.  If you just aim to change one of your worst time management habits, you will change your results immediately. It will most likely also give you the impetus to change what else isn’t working, once you feel the reward of your efforts and you see the clear connection between what you do and what your reality is.

Think about one thing, that if you changed right now, would have the biggest positive influence on your productivity. Write this down, think about what causes or contributes to this and what your solution will be moving forward.

Don’t forget to put results before comfort, if that is what you really want. Most people give up without ever knowing that they really can achieve their goals, meet their objectives and transform their lives!